Random House Webster's College Dictionary defines transition as "movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another.". If you think about it, we are in a constant state of transition - sometimes big, sometimes medium, sometimes small. But we are always changing. For me, my medium change at the moment is shifting from a part-time preschool teacher to full-time substitute teacher for our local school system. I am excited about my new opportunity but as with any change, there is a bit of apprehension. What if I don't have enough hours? What if I don't understand a teaching concept? What if I don't have lesson plans? What if....and then you have to breathe and start over. What if I really like it? What if I have an opportunity to become a long term substitute? What if I absolutely, positively love my new job? Breathe.Yesterday, at our staff End of Year Brunch, our fearless leader announced she was retiring after leading our preschool for 12 years. There was an audible gasp followed by lots of tears. She has been the steady, loving, patient, wise and faithful friend (notice the word boss is not used) that has guided countless families, teachers and staff through our children's center. Her absence will be felt greatly when the doors are re-opened in the Fall. What transpired after we all wrapped our heads around the announcement was a discussion about change and how most people do not like change. And our wise friend gently reminded us, "People don't like bad change. It's not the change - it's the type of change. People get excited about good change.". Like so many things she has said to me during the past two years, her statement has been on permanent replay in my mind. And once again, my friend is correct. Breathe.
Let's think about this for a moment. Good change brings a certain level of excitement with a twinge of apprehension. Buying your first car. Landing your first job or receiving a promotion. Graduation. Signing a contract for a professional sport or a lucrative deal in the creative sector. Marriage. Any type of new relationship. Moving into a new residence. Starting an exercise program. Joining an extra curricular activity or a Mom's Group. Winning the Power Ball (although this inevitably leads to bad change). So, let's freely admit we welcome this type of change with open arms and say "Change is good!". Breathe.
And then there is the other side of the coin...the bad changes in life. Divorce. Death. Bankruptcy. Diagnosis. Loss of employment. Unexpected job change. Buyout. Management shake up. Terrorism on your homeland. Natural disasters. Moving to a new state/country without really wanting to leave. Elections. The Unknown. Breathe. Deep.
That word is the true fear, right? Not the actual change but the unknown life altering consequences because of the change. We are witnessing and experiencing unprecedented change in our country right now in epic proportions and people are flat out scared. Who is going to be our next President? Who will be on the Supreme Court? What if the minimum wage is raised to $15 an hour? What the heck is transgender and what is this bathroom law? Why is Target saying people can go into any bathroom regardless of gender? Why are we letting refugees into our country? What if my child doesn't get the teacher I want? What if I don't like my new boss? What if I don't understand the language of my new country? Are all Muslims dangerous? Do we need to scope out their neighborhoods? Zika Virus? Does Congress have any clue what their voters want? What if accepting this job is the worst mistake I ever made? What if I am not in control? BOOM! Oops. Forgot to breathe.
We have become a world of micro-managers who can no longer have a civil conversation. We have lost all aspects of gray and drawn extreme black/white lines with no room for crossover. Because we have become so scared of change, we want everyone to be the same and if they are not, the words "stupid", "ignorant", "backwards", "evil", "moronic" and other hate speech have been spewed like the vicious venom of a Cobra, leaving us paralyzed and inept. We cannot breathe.
We are better, America. The Founders of our country came here to set forth change and bring about a democratic state that welcomed a difference of opinion and encouraged free (albeit thoughtful) speech. Freedom brings choice, responsibility, acceptance, compassion and change. Let's attempt to transition from talkers to listeners. Let's attempt to transition from contempt to compromise. Let's attempt to agree to disagree, yet still respect the person. Take a breath. Pause and change your perspective for just a moment. Like the caterpillar to the butterfly. Once upon a time, I crawled upon the ground and then one day, I sprouted wings. We may not all have the same color wings, but we can soar in the same sky. And, maybe, just maybe, we can transition into a joyful, healthy space - wouldn't that be a breath of fresh air?
