The Joy of Living in the Present

The last day of 2012. Many people will reflect on the last 365 days while others will make promises to themselves or loved ones that they will break sooner than later. One thing I have learned is to not dwell too much on either but more importantly, focus on the present. Revel in the mundane because as we learned this month, in a few minutes all hell can break loose. There has been much focus on the unspeakable horrors that unraveled in a small, mostly unknown town in Connecticut on Friday, December 14th. Personally, I walked around in a fog for a few days, crying at unpredictable moments and looking at my children feeling scared, helpless and wondering how to move forward in a world that was walking away from God instead of toward Him. But then I began listening, really listening to the parents that were enduring the hardest days I could not even begin to contemplate. They asked us to remember the beauty of these children and public servants. They spoke of characteristics of most young children with tidbits that made each one unique, as God has intended. They spoke of teachers and administrators who carried a bright light each day, fueling the flame of learning not to their students, but to "their kids". Every day these residents of Newtown, Connecticut were making a difference, carving a path for others to follow and one day, watch them lead another generation.   I need to make a correction. Every day these residents of Newtown, Connecticut ARE making a difference and they are leading all of us with one simple fundamental idea: they BELIEVE. And I quietly whisper, thank you, thank you for showing the world in the midst of the chaos, hurt and devastation, we still have hope and faith and love. As a country we showed this same resolve on September 11, 2001 and then I realized, we show this resolve every single day, but the media and a few disgruntled others would rather show a different view of our world. 

The premise for this blog was to find the joy in every day life. For a few weeks, I really couldn't find the joy, even in the midst of the Christmas season. I was feeling depleted, like a balloon who had zoomed around a room and then sputtered to the ground, spent, waiting for someone to refill me so I could float around again, happy, weightless yet full.

Slowly, I have begun to refill. I pray at random moments. My intimate times with God leave me a little lighter and a little happier. This has been an amazingly stressful year for our family but I have to remember we are still a whole family. We have no unopened presents sitting under our tree. We have no empty places at our table. We have children that fight and hug and play and sing. We have everyone present and accounted for in our house. My life may seem boring at times, a little bit like Groundhog Day and there are days when I wonder, "Did I really put myself through college for this?". And then I hear Him. Yes. Everything you have done is for this moment you are living right now. Teach your children to know me and they will never be alone and in the midst of despair, they will see joy and light and happiness and hope. Teach them what the residents of Newtown have taught you: BELIEVE. What a joyful thought!

I wish you a Happy New Year and a bright, shiny, joyous 2013. But mostly, I wish you the gift of another day, the joy of living in the present and knowing that the best gifts are not those you unwrap but those you carry with you in your heart one day at a time.

The Joy of Random Acts of Happiness

Last week as I was enjoying my morning walk on Cary Greenway, I came upon a random act of happiness. Someone had spray painted a pink smiley face surrounded by blue dots on a tree. I have to tell you, this made my day. Graffiti as its best. And no harm to the tree. In fact, I think the tree probably felt better knowing people passing were going to smile for quite a while. I know I did. 
We need more random acts of happiness. We have more than our fair share of random acts at the moment. But here is the truly wonderful thing about random acts of happiness...it is free of charge and the gift carries a positive impact and is extremely contagious. Here is what I know. I stopped my walk and took a picture of said tree. Later that day, I posted that happy photo to my Facebook page. Within minutes, people were hitting the Like button and I was receiving comments about what makes people happy. And those comments continued to make me smile. People across the country were affected by one person's random thought to paint a smiley face on the trunk of a very tall pine tree on a trail in Cary, NC. I bet they never even contemplated someone in Arizona or Pennsylvania or Texas or Massachusetts would be smiling at their simple artwork. And maybe, just maybe, there is a copycat artist in other parts of the country who will happily strike a tree or a boulder or a hill or heart with a simple random smile. 
As we head into the Christmas season and you are contemplating what gift to give this year,        
I humbly suggest a random act of happiness. A simple joy for a complicated world. A one size fits all that never goes out of style kind of gift. A present that will not be returned but hopefully regifted and somehow finds its way back to you. Randomly. 

The Joy of First Class

My husband left for a business trip on his birthday this week. Usually we will celebrate with a dinner and cake of his choice, but his flight was directly after work, so we made an omelette and presented him with homemade cards at breakfast. His boss decided to show us up...royally. I discovered later that day he would be flying first class. And well, I was home with two dogs, two children and a house that was basically a disaster zone. We are moving in a few weeks (yes, during the holidays) but that is a whole other blog. And while I was projecting, "Yea! So happy for you! You deserve first class treatment!", inwardly, I was screaming, "REALLY?!?". AND you had Tex Mex for lunch? AND they gave you a Carolina golf shirt AND your favorite gin? Where were these people on MY birthday? Because after all, your birthday is all about me!". So of course I called my venting outlet, aka best friend Heather and lamented over this latest development. I did not receive much sympathy as she deals with this weekly and her husband will call her from the airport to happily report he has been upgraded due to his frequent flyer miles. And she says quote: I have not even had a shower today: unquote. I do not think she will be offended I wrote this statement. Her husband, although he is fond of me, might insert other adjectives. Well, to top my whole evening off, right after I put the children to bed, our end of town lost power. Complete blackout. Candles lit. Shaking of the flashlight that does not have working batteries (note to self). Children waking up and crying because the night light is out, the bathroom light is out, the clock is out and seriously, we have too much dependency on florescent light. Clearly the Mid East is not a threat to this household. Big breath. Big glass of wine. And I sit on the couch, staring at the neighbors behind me who evidently have a generator and think, "Really? First Class?". I will edit the remainder of my thoughts. But then I edit again. My husband is halfway across the country. Granted, someone served him the drink of his choice while he was flying and having a grown up conversation, uninterrupted. He will sleep in a big bed, uninterrupted, with all of the covers for the whole night, and wake up to an alarm clock, make coffee he will drink hot, watch the news and miss his children. And miss his children.
Everyday I fly first class. I get the full on treatment of giggles, achievements, hugs upon pick ups,    stories of the day, homework, "the grumps", unlimited hugs, sloppy kisses, corny jokes that a grandparent would gobble up, smiles accented by dimples, elementary school gossip, highlights of trucks and cars in the sandbox at preschool, frustration with a child in the classroom, stories about a teacher in a wedding dress in a bathtub, tests that were totally aced,  tests that came back not totally aced, news that the sun is a really, really, REALLY big star and I love you's at unexpected moments. And the only cost is I stay home every day with these passengers. No baggage fee. No charge for a beverage. No delay on the runway. No, "Oops! We lost your reservation." (Insert favorite Seinfeld episode here). No calling and hoping I hear a a voice on the other end because I get a person to person call every single day. Yeah. My husband flew first class on his birthday. One day out of 365. You deserve it, buddy. But I'm just telling you now...my frequent flyer miles are not for sale. 

The Joy of PJ Days

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....next to holidays, pajama days are my favorite days of the year. I set aside one day a month for a PJ day with my children. We had a busy, busy week: Josh was diagnosed with strep on Saturday, we took a family trip to the Zoo on Monday only to slosh through cold, wind, rain and minimal animal sightings, Josh's preschool Thanksgiving feast was on Wednesday, Animal Dress up Day was on Thursday, Anna had gymnastics Thursday afternoon followed by a grand finale of her school Book Fair (which was amazing by the way!). But, shew, we are a tired bunch. So Josh asked if Friday could be our PJ day and I congratulated him on a wonderful idea!

Here is what I love about PJ day besides snuggling in the comfiest clothes in our wardrobe. There are NO rules. We eat what we desire at any time of the day. We watch TV without the timer. The iPad and SmartPhone have no limits. We play board games on the floor while munching on completely and outrageously unhealthy snacks. We walk to the mailbox in a coat and slippers (not sure how the neighbors feel about our PJ day). We do not look at the clock. We lounge on the couch, feet on feet, filling in the most ridiculous answers to AdLib books. We wipe food on our pj's and Mom doesn't say a word. Chocolate is an accepted food group. Schedules are tossed out the window along with complaints, mandates and time outs. Homework is dismissed. Daddy tends to come home a little earlier. And for some reason, we feel like we have taken a trip to the beach.

Sometimes in the midst of PJ day, we might decide to ride bikes. Or maybe we would like to pick up pizza or bring home take out from a favorite local joint. Or maybe we want to do ONE chore. Or maybe we will slip into our second comfiest clothes and head out for the afternoon. But the BEST part of PJ day? We might NOT! And I think that is my favoritest (yes, I know, made up word, but sometimes you have to be expressive) part of PJ day. 

When I was a working girl, there was a time I contemplated starting a small event planning business. I seriously thought about this concept for quite a few years, but then my daughter was born and I decided my full time job should be raising children. But, I do remember when I was writing my business plan, I was going to designate one day a quarter to an optional work day. I think as Americans we work extremely hard. And I am proud that we are a nation of workers, doers and achievers. But I also believe hard work deserves fair play and we need to just do nothing for 24 hours and be comfortable with designated laziness. Time to recharge. Time to decompress. Time to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Time to slow down time. Because, I promise you, tomorrow, when I am begging for one more hour of PJ day, we will be in warp speed of our daily life. And you will find me counting down the days until our next unscheduled pajama day where my joyful heart will rest easy with the rest of me.

The Joy of Voting

On a hot day in July of 1848, two women, Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott, began an important and crucial movement in Seneca Falls, New York. On August 20, 1920 the Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution became law. And today, all across this wonderful country, women are exercising their hard fought right by casting a vote for the President of the United States and many other key seats within their states. I am so grateful for the women who looked far into the future and decided we deserve a voice, we deserve to matter, we deserve to VOTE!
From all the political hoopla on TV, I imagine this year will be a banner voter turnout. In my opinion, we should have a banner year every election. Ladies, our right to vote has only been around for 92 years. My great grandmother, who was a single mother of two young girls, the breadwinner and decision maker for her family, could not own a business, the deed to her property was in her father's name and she would never even come close to the earning potential of her alcoholic husband who had decided to desert his wife and children. This, THIS is why I vote. Because of the women and men who suffered without a voice and for those that gave their life so my voice could be heard. These lives matter every day we have the freedom to vote.
My Grandmother made sure her four daughters voted and understood the importance behind the pomp and circumstance. She made sure they were politically educated from both sides and did a great job as she raised two Republicans and two Democrats. Note to Washington: these sisters are as close as blades of grass on Augusta's golf course despite their political affiliation. I accompanied my Mom to every election day and I will do the same with Anna. There is great pride in women across this nation and that brings me great joy!
My friends run the gamut: Independent, Libertarian, Republican and Democrat. I love their intensity for their beliefs (most days) and I love that they are instilling this strength within their daughters. We have had two amazing female Secretary of States back to back and I think we are just a few elections away from a female President. Personally, I hope we remove the sexism and just focus on the quality of the candidate, but I do know on that day, I will be cheering a little louder because our first Madame President gave a rousing inaugural speech.
I have often commented we need more women in Washington, preferably Moms. They know how to balance a budget. They know all about compromise. They would carpool and look for the most cost effective way to travel across our great country and world. They would stick those "children" that cannot play fairly in time out. They would teach manners, self respect and the longevity of a kind word. And I think there would be less finger pointing and a bit more high fives. Yes, I am of joyful heart today. The power of voting is an irreplaceable right that we need to hold onto tightly and proudly. Our voice does matter and voting is a powerful way to be heard. And oh, what a joyous sound!

The Joy of November

In keeping with the gratitude theme, I thought I would borrow an idea many of my friends did on Facebook last year. Each day in November, they would write one word describing why they were thankful. I love this idea and hope to incorporate into our family traditions. And as of this day, our November traditions include celebrating my Dad's and husband's birthdays, and eating too much on Thanksgiving! Time to add to the list.
But I do believe this is a wonderful way to teach gratitude to our children. To make this emotion an everday occurrence, not just during the holiday season when they hope Santa is listening. But to really be thankful for that funny friend in preschool that makes outdoor time a gigglefest. To be grateful for the third grade teacher who not only teaches from the heart, but truly loves her students. To value a family that embraces your grumpy days along with your sunshine days. To be thankful for the sibling that plays games when Mom and Dad are busy with the mundane tasks that run a household. And for those two loving dogs that are never sad to see you and are perhaps the best examples of how to be a best friend.
Our family has a lot to be thankful for this year. As I watch the devastation on the East Coast caused by Hurricane Sandy, I am reminded we are never really in control. Each day is a gift, not a right, and our luxury is life, not possessions. Americans are strong, resilient, courageous and scrappy. I am thankful to be an American and in the midst of chaos, I think we shine brightest. We are still the beacon to the rest of the world and people still flock to our shores in the hopes of a better life and a little bit more freedom in this world. We are not a perfect country...this election and the gridlock in Washington has shown our country's worst side. But it has also shown, we are a country of hope. We are a country that does not settle. And we are a country that lends a hand to those in need because in the end we are a grateful, thankful nation. And I could not think of a better way to begin my joyful celebration of November. Have you found your joy today?

The Joy of Gratitude

I saw a sign recently that read "It is not HAPPY people who are thankful, it is thankful people who are HAPPY". I loved this saying so much, I took a picture and have it securely stored on my smart phone (which by the way, does not indicate that the owner is smart). I click to that sign as a reminder that gratitude is the pathway to happiness. And I plan to place that sign in my house when we move in the next few months, as a reminder to our family and friends, that WE are the owners of  the happiness in our hearts. Those moments when we are simply grateful for all that we have in our life. 
I received a sweet email from my friend Amanda a few weeks back. She expressed her disdain for a rather unpleasant day but how my blog brought her joy in the midst of "ARRRGGGHHHH". And shameless plug, I was beyond giddy that I had reached someone. BUT, here is the focus of the note. She thanked me. She took time out of her busy day to say thank you to someone that had an unknowing impact on a minuscule moment of her life. I emailed her back, "BLOG ALERT! We need more gratitude and a lot less attitude! Thank you, friend!". For you see, I was battling writer's block (and also feeling a little sorry for myself) when her email made me realize the whole point of my blog in the first place. Insert popular bumper sticker here: Practice random acts of kindness. And Amanda hit a home run.
This simple moment took me back to one of my favorite Christmas specials, that sadly, I do not believe is played on TV anymore, The Little Drummer Boy. Growing up, those claymation specials were a part of our holiday season and carry a very special place in my heart. I think of the Little Drummer Boy and how he was so scared to go visit Jesus because he thought he did not have a valuable gift to bestow upon our King. He had two wooden sticks and a drum. I wasn't there, but I am pretty sure everyone in the stable was grateful for his gift of music. I remember trying not to cry in front of my brothers during the scene where he begins playing his drum quietly followed by an emotional crescendo of music that reaches your feet and rushes through your soul like a burst of wind. As tears trickled down my cheeks, I remember hearing sniffling behind me. We thought we only saw a stable with a baby that would change the world but meanwhile three children were learning it is not the price, but the love that is given with the gift that matters. The thank you wrapped up simply and sincerely. The note that expresses a moment when someone's heart is touched. The banana or breakfast bar shared with the homeless person in the intersection. The hug that expresses what words can never explain. The hand, pressed upon another, providing peace in a frantic world.
There is a lot of negative attitude in this world at the moment. A lot of debate, not much discussion. A lot of judgment, but not much gentle advice. A lot of what have you done for me and not what have I done for you. A lot of I have so much, yet still I have nothing. Seems the little drummer boy was the wisest of all: no attitude, all gratitude and a little beat that he shared on a cold, dark night with a grateful heart. Rum pum pum pum pum pum pum pum puuuuummmmm.