The Joy of New

We have a lot of new happening in our house at the moment. We have a new addition to our family, an adorable 12-week-old rescue Chocolate Labrador Retriever named Sadie. Life through her eyes is a new adventure every day. Whether she is discovering the chatter of squirrels, the typewriter sound of the woodpecker or the far away bark of a big dog that brings her scampering between my legs, she is deep in the throws of all things new. And that seems to keep her tail wagging and our hearts laughing. 

Our son is a little over halfway through his Kindergarten year where he has learned new words and subjects, made new friends, visited new places and is beginning to realize that new doesn't always mean scary, but maybe exciting. In a few weeks he will turn six. As my Mother-in-Law mentioned, when you turn six, you seem a whole lot bigger to yourself. Great new things lie ahead for Josh and I cannot wait to watch/participate in his discovery.
Our daughter, Anna, is also experiencing a world of new this year. She is participating in Single Subject Acceleration (SSA) in English Language Arts - a brand spanking new program within Wake County this year. She is LOVING the challenge and we are delighted to watch her gift for writing unfold. She is in Hoop Group - a hula hoop group club within her school that will actually be performing a few routines tonight. She signed up for basketball with a bit, ok, with a lot of prodding from her Mom, but finding out the sport is kind of fun. But she will not divulge that tidbit to her mother. Ever. This is not new. She is also enjoying new teachers, fun knowledge and expanding her social circle. There may even be a crush involved but that is "so not on the table for discussion, Mom!". Gotcha. No news there, either. But growing up is full of new emotions, new adventures and discovery and new things that will fall into awesome, eh and never again. Childhood is a beautiful gift but kind of hard to understand when you are in the midst of growing up. And then you reach a point where not much is new in your life and you wonder, "What next?".
I have a golden damask sitting chair in our Bonus Room that used to fill a corner in my Granddad's living room. Definitely not new but I love this chair not only because I think it is luxuriously comfortable but because it is one of my last  physical reminders of a man who showed me you can find new every day. Even in the clouds. My Granddad studied the atmosphere and had a fondness for those big puffy cottonballs plastered against a clear, blue sky. I should have talked to him more about the ozone layer and the hole they had discovered. Perhaps then I could talk intelligently now about Global Warming. But the cool thing about Tom Ashenfelter was he found the new in everyday things even when he was at an age where finding new was extremely difficult. He was a passionate gardener and enjoyed experimenting with soil, devices to keep out rabbits, and how to grow beautiful vegetables and flowers. He coaxed a squirrel on Dexter Avenue to become his buddy. He read about nutrition so he could hang around for a while. He was enthusiastic about his 12 grandchildren and found a way to make sure we were keen observers of life around us. He did not take much for granted. Even when his wife fell victim to Parkinson's Disease, he tried to find new ways to make her comfortable. He tried to find a new way for Minerva and Tom to remain together when everyone else told him they needed to be apart. He finally realized his wife of over 50 years needed a new home and that would mean a big change for him. I imagine he sat in his gold chair but I cannot imagine the thoughts that went through his head with this latest change. I know I sat on my bed for a long time when I heard the news that Grandmom would be going to a new place that could care for her medical needs. The descriptions made it sound like a retreat and I suppose to some extent, the care facility was an escape, but I wondered how this would affect both my Grandparents.
I have some great memories of my Grandmom in her new digs. She met new friends, nurses and doctors. I loved visiting. We would play games, go for walks, sit in the wooded area out back, play the piano, listen to nature, listen to the man who called for his cows from the porch everyday at 5pm and on special days, I was allowed to bring my makeup kit and "pretty up her face". 
New is exciting and a reminder that change is inevitable but does not have to stop our forward momentum, Sometimes the scary new becomes a comfortable haven. I think we kind of owe it to ourselves to step out of our comfort zone and try something a little different. Recently I read an article listing 20 things you should do in your lifetime. I was happy that I had done a few: preparing a meal with food you harvested, camp in the wilderness, scuba dive or snorkel and then there were a few I should try like making a piece of furniture or living in a foreign land. Both seem incredibly daunting but perhaps doable down the road. I think new keeps us vibrant, youthful and happy. And I was lucky enough to see the proof sitting in a gold chair, brown eyes twinkling, playful grin spreading across his face as he asked me, "What's new with you?". So, as I snuggle down into my favorite gold chair, with a brown furry blanket draped over me, deciding what new path I should travel next, I quietly ask, "What is new with you?". I joyfully wait your answer.

The Joy of Puppy Love

Last week while most of the country was battling record setting snow storms, we were falling in love with a rescue Lab named Sadie. She weighed eight pounds, crowning her the runt of the litter. She is the color of coffee with one pour of cream and has fur that is "soft as clouds" as our son Josh declares. Her eyes are a golden hue like the color of freshly harvested honey. She is the pup we have been praying would find us.

Sadie settling into her new home.

Sadie first arrived in my husband's inbox. For the past few months his brother had been sending him photos of puppies that were available for adoption. Some would pop in mine with a forwarded tag line that read "keep me strong". We would usually have a good chuckle and continue on with our day. But I started to notice I wasn't deleting these pictures as fast and I was looking at our schedule a bit more closely to see if a dog was realistically feasible.   I asked Anna if she would prefer a puppy or a full grown dog if we were to adopt. She said a puppy because she had only known full grown dogs. True, Mason was six and Dixon, one, when she was born. And I remember thinking "Oh dear, I'm not sure I can handle a puppy." And then we opened the photo of Sadie and I realized I was slowly making room in my heart for a new addition to our family.
Paul said Sadie was being fostered by a woman named Dianna who taught at the same school as his wife Lisa. She volunteered through MooreLabs, a Labrador Retriever rescue organization. So, Wednesday night we filled out an on-line application form and with great big butterflies in our stomach, hit the submit button. We guessed we would hear something by the weekend and agreed not to tell the children until we heard confirmation.
I awoke Thursday morning to a lawn covered in white and an application that had been approved to adopt Sadie sitting in my inbox. Shocked by both developments, I quickly found David and quietly informed him sweet Sadie was coming home. He appeared just as stunned.
Over breakfast we delivered the news to Anna and Josh. After the ear splitting screams subsided, we printed out a picture of Sadie to place on our refrigerator. And I tried to formulate a survival plan to get through three days of home bound children eagerly awaiting the arrival of our new puppy. Anna made a list of supplies we would need and on Friday we gathered the collar, leash, food, treats, toys and puppy clean up sanitizer. The night would be similar to Christmas, waiting and wondering what tomorrow would bring.
Thankfully, Grammy, Grandpa and Aunt Cathy were coming to watch Anna in her rec league basketball game. Our morning and afternoon was filled with silly games, lunch, and a brutal defeat followed by cheer-me-up cupcakes before we ventured toward finally meeting our little brown bundle of fur. We wondered if Sadie was ready to accept us.
With a small army of relatives, we arrived at Dianna's house at 4pm where our lives would be permanently altered by a tiny Chocolate Lab who needed a home. She padded happily around, greeting and licking everyone, completely unaffected by the impact she was having on our family. Without question, she was our furever dog.
Sadie has adjusted wonderfully to our home. She has already snuggled deep in our laps, our blankets and our hearts. She is playful, funny, smart, clumsy, fast, mischievous, hungry, and well, just plain puppylicious. She. Is. Joyful. And already it's hard to imagine our family life without Sadie padding around, making us laugh and raising our spirits. Sadie. Sweet Sadie. I think you rescued us.
For more information about the amazing MooreLab program, please visit http://www.moore-labs.com/.
And for a peek into Sadie's everyday life, stop by her Facebook page. She is always ready to greet a new friend. https://www.facebook.com/sadie.tingelstad?ref=tn_tnmn

The Joy of a Happy Perspective

The past several entries have centered around the premis of Mr. Hugh Hewitt's book, The Happiest Life: Seven Gifts, Seven Givers, and the Secret to Genuine Success. I enjoyed discovering the common denominators of happy people: encouragement, energy, enthusiasm, empathy, good humor, graciousness and gratitude. I do not believe there were any major bombshells uncovered, but hopefully a seed to two was planted. Or maybe you are one of these beautifully happy people traveling in our midst. And if you are, thank you!

Happiness is about perspective. You know, the whole half-empty, half-full glass discussion. The answer is quite telling yet I also think it might change depending on the type of day you are experiencing. Some days are like Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. You might really want to pack your bags and move to Australia (which sounds pretty good to me). But the joy comes in knowing that you learned something important from a bad day. And probably something you won't repeat. Some things are completely out of our control and we have to let those things go. This concept is beyond hard for some people but the truth is until you learn to let go, continual happiness is going to elude you. That in itself, is a tragedy.

I remember my sophomore year in college, a person very close to me asked, "Why are you so happy all the time?". We were on a sidewalk headed toward a mall to do some shopping and seriously, who would not be happy about that? But, I remember shrugging my shoulders and emotionally turning inward a little. Was there something wrong with me? Was I a bit of an idiot (my brothers are not allowed to answer this question)? Should I brood a little more? This question dogged me for a long time and I think altered me a bit. Now, older and wiser, I wish I would have said, "Sure beats the alternative!" But more importantly, I realize that question had nothing to do with me and everything to do with the other person.

Our time on Earth is short yet we have the chance to meet so many people in our daily lives and make a positive difference. And here's the best part - you can do this for free! No donations other than smiles. No verbal commitment other than to say hello, happily. No long term contract other than while you are improving the lives of others, you are improving you. That is quite a return on your investment! 

I hope you have enjoyed the segment we covered in January and I hope you will continue along the path of joyful opportunity. A lot of people are looking for the key to happiness and the thing is, they have been holding it the whole time. They just need someone to show them how to unlock the latch. Perhaps, just perhaps, you will find a new role as a happiness locksmith. And if so, I hope your business thrives.

Carry on, happy one, carry on!

The Joy of Gratitude

I am a quote person and I blame it all on Mr. Foor-Hogue, my high school chemistry teacher. Every day when we would walk into class we would have to enter the quote of the day he had written on the upper left hand side of the chalkboard into our chemistry journal. Of course there was the usual grumbling by the all knowing teenagers, but secretly, I loved his quotes. I could not give you one abbreviation off the periodic chart, but I memorized a lot of his quotes. Maybe that was his point: the left brain and the right brain can collide and survive. Mr. Foor-Hogue, this is 25+ years too late, but I am grateful for you. Because of your small, thoughtful action, I have noticed and collected quotes from everywhere possible. I find them in bathrooms, on tshirts, in song lyrics, on bumper stickers, on signs in stores, on bulletin boards, in letters from relatives and from the mouths of my children. And most of my quotes have to do with GRATITUDE, the final attribute in the seven characteristics of happy people.
I have decided to share a few with you today.
"It's not happy people who are thankful, it is thankful people who are happy." I saw this on a sign for sale in TJMaxx.
"Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness just to be happy." Guilllaume Apollinaire
"The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything." Inspirational quote website.
"It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you have." Sheryl Crow, Soak Up the Sun
And my favorite that I saw on a tshirt many, many moons ago: Gratitude is the New Attitude!
I should have purchased that shirt. Non-buyers remorse. 
I have a chalkboard serving tray a dear friend of mine made me when I moved from Austin to Cary. I frequently think of writing, "If you're going to give me attitude, it better be in the form of gratitude" and then I want to snap my fingers three times, crossing my body. Um hmm...you go, girl. 
Gratitude. This is the easiest word on the list and probably the least used. I remember living in Greenville, NC and I was working for a small business right after graduation. Sometimes on my way home I would make a quick stop at Harris Teeter. There was a young man with Down's Syndrome who was employed as a bagger. He always had a gigantic warm smile to share and a small tidbit about his day. One evening he was excited because Friday was only two days away and it was pay day! Whoop! "Oh!, I said, "Friday is a very special day!" He looked at me with a tilted head and frankly reminded me, "No m'am, every day is a special day.". I hugged that sweet boy, cried on the way home and carried that message around in my heart all these years. Gratitude.
Forrest Gump is a beautiful example of gratitude. It's the simplicity of this word that is astounding. And the funny thing is we can all achieve and own gratitude. But again, like happiness, it's a choice. My daughter and I each have a gratitude journal. We are pretty faithful about entering the daily occurrences in our lives for which we are thankful. This past week, we had four unexpected snow days. There was a lot of grumbling  by parents about another day stuck at home with the children. And I get that. But there was another voice starting to filter in through the frustrated tweets. "Thank you for keeping our children safe." Many parts of our county had icy road conditions. "Thank you for amazing memories with our kiddos!" And photos of snow people, sledding, forts, snowball fights, and recipes for snow cream filled my computer screen. Unexpected moments of happy. Anna and I are both grateful for our steep driveway that people sometimes grumble about for various reasons. For you see, we had our own personal ski slope for three action packed days that we happily shared with our neighborhood friends.  It was epic and I will always be grateful for the red cheeks, the watery eyes, the snow covered clothes, the pink fingers and the ginormous smiles that exuded gratitude a thousand times over. 
Gratitude. Pass it on. It will be the best free thing you do all day. And for the record, you can quote me on that!

The Joy of Graciousness

Today we are taking a closer look at graciousness, number six on Mr. Hewitt's list of happy people traits. The root of the word, gracious, is defined as "marked by kindness and courtesy". Wouldn't it be grand if gracious people were marked with a lovely, calligraphy scripted G on their sweater? Kind of like a monogram but alas, as we know, branding people is usually inaccurate and well, one dimensional, which humans are not. Think Hester Prynne from The Scarlett Letter. 

Here is a secret. I am addicted to gracious people. Why? Because gracious people always leave you feeling better when you depart their company. Here are a few things gracious people do:

• Listens to others more than speak about self
• Is humble with accomplishments and praises others' efforts easily
• Does not embarrass deliberately and intentionally 
• Genuinely thankful for even the tiniest gesture
• Pays attention to others and remembers details of their life/conversation
• Thinks through their words before they speak aloud
• Has a knack for making people feel comfortable and appreciated
• Consistently recognizes the good in others

I am always amazed by people who remember the tiniest details I may have quickly shared in a conversation. Or the fact that they will remember my children's names or maybe that I once lived on the Outer Banks. "Did you ever get a milkshake from John's?" they might ask and we quickly reminisce and long for the best cold, creamy concoctions located on the old beach road. Gracious people are usually huggers. I love huggers. Gracious people tend to make you feel like the smartest person in the room. Gracious people smile. A lot. Rarely do they complain. And if they complain, they tend to provide a solution and then quickly ask for your opinion on the matter. They are considerate, find beauty in the distorted, laugh heartily and empathize easily, provide hope with their actions and give you the confidence to believe in yourself. 
Anne Frank wrote, "In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.".    Scribbled in her journal, were thoughts and observations of a young teenager trapped in a secret annex for two, long years. She could not go with friends to enjoy ice cream on a beautiful summer evening. She could not dance in a gym with a boy while her girlfriends watched and giggled. She could not shop for the latest fashions. She could not feel grass between her toes. She could not smell the change of the seasons. All because she was Jewish and in certain parts of Europe, religious associations would cost you your life. Anne could have been a very angry, obstinate teenager full of hate and rage but she made a choice to do otherwise. When you read her diary, "kindness and courtesy" remain a pretty consistent and surprising theme. Anne Frank is an exceptional study of defining graciousness and a constant reminder that the little things do matter in a big, big way. 
Graciousness, like encouragement, is a gift we like to give and receive. I have mentioned this sentiment before. These traits make us better people and make others better, too. Yes, some are born with grace like personalities, but more often this is a learned practice. Grandparents are usually gracious beings. And thank goodness our children have exposure to those ears and hearts that love to hear the same story countless times, that always ask questions with earnest interest, that make our children feel like the most special beings in the world and always have a smile and a hug waiting to be delivered. Good gracious...we can learn a lot from a young girl who died early, tragically and unnecessarily and from those who walk among us, humbly, thankfully, joyfully and graciously. Study well. Study often. And remember, practice makes perfect. 
For more inspirational quotes from Anne Frank, you may visit this link: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/3720.Anne_Frank. Better yet, read her book, The Diary of Anne Frank. 

We Interrupt our Regularly Scheduled Blog....

Last week I received a reminder that we are a compassionate and joyful people. And while I can write words detailing examples of said acts, I humbly turn over my blog today to a video (sent to me from my Mom) that speaks a thousand words. Even if you are not a football fan, please keep watching...this play may change your mind about the football player stereotype.  Go Team!

http://youtu.be/0Ejh_hb15Fc

We now return to our regularly scheduled blogging.....um, tomorrow. Enjoy and feel free to share today's message.

The Joy of Good Humor

"Whatever else an American believes or disbelieves about himself, he is absolutely sure he has a sense of humor." E.B. White 

Humor is our common ground. I have yet to meet a person who does not enjoy a good laugh. Sure, I have met people who do not laugh often, but perhaps they savor humor as others savor a finely aged cheese. And I have encountered people who have the ability to laugh at everything and anything, including themselves. And I have watched humor dissolve a tense situation as deftly as an explosive specialist. And I have watched a grumpy toddler turn into a giggle monster with one silly word. Laughter, as they say, is the best medicine.
Laughter reduces tension in your whole body. Studies show it boosts your immune system, protects your heart and releases endorphins to act as "feel good" chemicals in your body. Laughter chases away the blues and enables you to gain a new perspective to stressful situations. Humor acts as a cohesive bond within your social, family and work relationships. And two more positive things about humor: there are no serious side effects and it's 100% free!
Our family subscribed to Reader's Digest when I was growing up in Carroll County, MD. I so looked forward to the monthly arrival of this magazine because tucked in between the advertisements and feel good stories were hilarious jokes and stories from real people. I am pretty sure I wore my Dad's ear out as I hastily read about the poor sap who inadvertantly hurt his new bride's feelings over her cooking or the Sunday School teacher who had define virgin to a Kindergarten class or the compilations of excuses for missed assignments or work days. Humor in Uniform was one of my favorites because a Corporal was always going to out maneuver a Commander in Chief. I loved anything that challenged authority.
The comics are still my favorite part of any newspaper. I grew up with Calvin and Hobbs, Bloom County, Family Circle, Peanuts, Marmaduke, Doonesbury, Garfield, and Hagar the Horrible. I never understood why Mary Worth or Prince Valiant were included...they were not funny.
My Dad enjoyed watching 60 Minutes but I could not wait for the last five minutes when Andy Rooney would unleash his satirical observation of every day life. I longed to be the next Andy Rooney or Erma Bombeck. While my peers were reading Little House on the Prairie or Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret I was chuckling over The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank and If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? Both figured out a way to put the laughter in serious situations and I miss their outlook terribly.
Laughter was always in our house. My Mom, my four Aunts, my Grandmom and my Great Aunt all have the same laugh. And I am sorry, no matter the horrendous, down in the dumps, no good, terrible, horrible day you were having, if they were laughing, you were laughing, too. A lot was forgiven over laughter. A lot of hurt was healed with laughter. And a lot of the best family memories are embedded with laughter. We even have a howler monkey story that has become a bit of a legend in our family history. But that story is for another day. People may not have always understood us, but they always laughed with us.
I am grateful my parents and brothers taught me to laugh freely at most situations. God and laughter will get you through life was a commonly heard quote in our house. Our family, like most families, have had their share of sorrow in our life story. And we mourn for a bit, but before we know it, someone is telling the story of when I earned the name Princess Pathfinder on our camping trips because I always managed to get lost in the campground. Or how Lou and Tom would be in opposite corners of the basement, pretend fighting, waiting for Mom to come barreling down the steps, followed by a "Sheesh!" when she discovered their shenanigans. Only to be repeated thirty minutes later. Or how the fireman asked my Mom if she ever saw a cat skeleton in a tree when our cat would not climb down. Or my Dad telling a joke so bad, only a child could double over in laughter at the sheer corniness of his words. His infectious laugh would carry through air, followed by a "Gotcha!". Oh, Dad, you silly ol' bear.
It makes perfect sense to me that good humor has made the happy people list. Without laughter, our lives would be dull indeed. And I would hate to go through one day without a hint of laughter. Dreadful, I say. Simply dreadful. So my simple advice for today is to take two heaping spoonfuls of good humor and then call me in the morning so we can share a laugh together. See you in the funny papers!