The Sisterhood of Motherhood: Finding Joy in New Territory

When Anna was born nine years ago, six months into her existence, I resigned from my job and plunged into the life of a stay-at-home Mom. I was TERRIFIED. Similar to a child, quaking on hot concrete, staring into a deep, blue pool, I thought there is no way I can jump into this situation and come back up for air. I need a life jacket…NOW. And then I met my first Mom friend through a local Moms group. Her husband worked long hours, she was a new resident in a small town without friends or family (she recently left her family in Tennessee), her son, Ryan, was six months old and her first born and she had chosen to stay home instead of returning to work. We had a lot in common but under no circumstances was I going to tell her I was terrified of my new situation. Her appearance was flawless, she was always happy, Ryan was beyond adorable and she was LOVING this whole Mom thing. We did not have that in common. I was grumpy, tired, longing for a hot cup of coffee, sleep, a shower and I thought my daughter, while cute, was sucking every last drop of life from me. And then she invited me to her house for coffee. Just me. And Anna.

That morning, while nursing my daughter I was thinking of every plausible excuse for not going to her impeccably decorated house without a mess in sight! I was so tired and I knew I could not manage an hour or two of casual conversation…I needed to be real and I thought I could only be real behind the tightly shut door of my home with the shades drawn. But the thought of an umpteenth day without adult conversation won over and I headed out my front door with a freshly packed diaper bag and a quick prayer for a flat tire on the way to her house. Another prayer unanswered or so I thought.

That morning delivered more than an amazingly good cup of coffee and homemade pumpkin bread. It delivered my now best girlfriend. Not that I knew that then, but nine years later, we talk at least two times a week and no subject is off limits. Our husbands would be blushing at the topics we discuss. She lives in Ohio and has for seven and a half years. Yes, she moved when our children were eighteen months old. Since then, my family has welcomed Josh and she has delivered Emily and Jacob. We talk about the sometimes loneliness of staying home and the joys that we would have missed if we were working. We talk about husbands that drive us insane but at the end of the day, gave us the gift of family, friendship and support. We talk about kids that we wish would stop talking incessantly, but are scared of the day when they won’t talk at all. We talk about our children’s latest triumph and their latest defeat. We talk about why they will spend countless years in therapy and why they will tell us when they reach the age of thirty we were awesome Moms. We talk about when we will stop dying our hair, stop caring about the scale, move to the beach and delight in latest escapades of our, gasp, grandchildren. But most importantly, we keep talking and laughing and sharing. We are sisters in Motherhood.

I would not trade that plunge nine years ago. From one Mom to another Mom, my prayer is you are exploring deeper waters of the Motherhood sea but yet, manage to locate a safe port with new friends in a similar boat. This Mom thing is rough, unchartered, and at times unmanageable, but still, one of the most amazing, breathtaking, beautiful gifts God has ever bestowed upon us. He did not intend for us to sail this course alone. So, I hope you seek out some Moms Groups, enjoy Mom’s Night Out, Book Clubs, scheduled play dates or perhaps, find the courage to ask someone you don’t know very well to share a cup of coffee. They might just bring a life jacket.