Embrace your setbacks because eventually they become the obstacles you overcome. The first question you usually ask yourself in a difficult situation is, "Why me?". Or "What did I do to deserve this?". And the answer is usually "I don't know". But a very important word can follow: yet. I don't know - yet. And suddenly, hope appears to guide you out of the forest and up the pathway to climbing the mountain placed before you.
There are all types of setbacks. Our son, Josh, had a big one this week on his bike. He is a timid and careful child which is good in some situations and frustrating in others. His learning to ride a bike was a bit like running a marathon - it took forever! But then one day, he just pushed off on his pedals and discovered the freedom of riding a bike. So, three weeks later, Josh and I head out on a journey to discover what leads down one of the greenways that run behind our house. We had biked a little over 1.5 miles and decided to take a drink break. A large hill loomed before us and I asked if he wanted to turn around or continue up the hill. He surprised me with, "Let's go up. It's always fun to discover new things - like an adventure.". As an English Minor, I probably should have picked that statement up as foreshadowing. We continued. At the top of the hill, Josh decided we should head home so we turned around and I asked if he wanted me to lead or follow and he answered, "Lead.".
I reminded him the hill was long, steep and curvy so he would need to use his breaks to monitor his speed. He nodded and off I went. I was totally in my own moment, coasting down the hill, wind cooling off my sweating body and silently singing, "Like a Rhinestone Cowboy" in my head (there is a family story there as well). All of the sudden, an out of control seven-year-old goes blazing by me, front wheel and handle bars wobbly and without thinking I shout, "BREAK!" and because Josh is an obedient child, he breaks hard and the back wheel skids to the left as his bike careens downward. In slow motion I watch the bike skid right and Josh tumble off and roll like a bowling ball down the paved greenway to the left. My heart and my bike stop. And a large noise fills my ears. But, then he stands up, with only a bloody knee and a tearful face. As I realize nothing is broken, I inhale deeply, pick up his bike, look deep into his beautiful brown eyes and quietly say, "You know, we have to get back on this bike. In a little bit." And I stroke his back as I try to quiet my heartbeat. Because if we walk home, the bike will stay parked in our garage, permanently. So in few minutes, we climb back on and make our way home. We had a few more bumps as we did not stop at a stop sign and bumped into Mom's bike but we arrived in tact, sweaty and bright red streaking down a tiny leg. As we pushed our bikes up our driveway, Josh said, "I did not like that bike ride at ALL!". I breathed. "Yeah?" I asked. "You think the next one will be better?" I squeaked out. "Yeah," Josh responded. "But I'll probably stick to smaller hills for a while.". A tiny setback but he did not quit. And way before I am ready, he will be zooming down big hills with ramps and doing tricks that make my stomach wish he were still inside my body, safe and snug. True, in the scope of our great, big world his fall was minor. He is not facing a life threatening illness. He is not left without a parent. He is not in a cast or surgery. But to his world, he learned taking risks sometimes hurt.
We face obstacles and hard lessons in every aspect of our life. Personally. Professionally. Faith based. We have lots of questions and not many answers - yet. Some years can be incredibly hard. You lose a job. You lose a loved one. You are blindsided with a medical diagnosis. You crash your car. You choose alcohol or drugs over your family and lose a lot. Your family makes you scratch your head or hurt your heart. You fail a test. You start a diet/exercise program only to stop. You swear in front of your Mother-in-Law. You end up three credits short of earning your degree. Your business is in financial stress. You are in financial stress. You can't zip your pants. You can't say I am sorry to someone. You can't say I forgive you. Your co-workers tell you an idea won't work. And quietly, with tears running down your face, your body slumped haphazardly on the floor, you ask, "Why me?". You might tremble in this position for a while or you might tremble violently and uncontrollably. At some point all of this loud, tiring, questioning, emotion stops as you raise the white flag, whispering, "I don't know" and then hope knocks as you hear "yet". In that sliver of an instant, in that tiny, molecular moment is your opportunity to start clearing all of the muck and yuck out of your life and start climbing the mountain of "Yes, I can!". Ok, so, you lost your job, yet you can start
following what makes your heart happy. You lost a loved one, but yet, you were loved deeply, truly and honestly and you carry that person forever. You fight an extraordinary disease, that maybe you will succumb to, yet you are the reason someone becomes a medical professional. You crash your car yet you still have your life. You made a bad choice but then chose rehab and you begin to feel and see life clearly and beautifully and you gently show others how to walk with you on the safe, sober, happy path. You fail a test but ace the next one. You stop your health program only to jump back on board with better results because the change is for you. You slip up in front of your Mother-in-Law and she shares an embarrassing story with you that maybe, just maybe, makes you wet your pants a little, but also forges a bond that can only grow stronger. Eventually, after working tirelessly and hard, you have an opportunity to earn your last three credits paid for by your employer. Financially, you are broke, but you ultimately learn the best things in life are free. And they leave a huge deposit in your heart. Eventually, you zip into a smaller size or celebrate the breathtaking beauty of your real size. You utter "I am sorry" and you hear "You are forgiven.". Your co-workers celebrate the amazing outcome of an idea that you decided was worth a try. And in that sliver of an instant, in that tiny, molecular moment you understand you need to embrace your setbacks because eventually they become the obstacles you overcome knowing that the next hill, you can totally take because there is great joy in taking your setback on the new route of a comeback!
