The last day of 2012. Many people will reflect on the last 365 days while others will make promises to themselves or loved ones that they will break sooner than later. One thing I have learned is to not dwell too much on either but more importantly, focus on the present. Revel in the mundane because as we learned this month, in a few minutes all hell can break loose. There has been much focus on the unspeakable horrors that unraveled in a small, mostly unknown town in Connecticut on Friday, December 14th. Personally, I walked around in a fog for a few days, crying at unpredictable moments and looking at my children feeling scared, helpless and wondering how to move forward in a world that was walking away from God instead of toward Him. But then I began listening, really listening to the parents that were enduring the hardest days I could not even begin to contemplate. They asked us to remember the beauty of these children and public servants. They spoke of characteristics of most young children with tidbits that made each one unique, as God has intended. They spoke of teachers and administrators who carried a bright light each day, fueling the flame of learning not to their students, but to "their kids". Every day these residents of Newtown, Connecticut were making a difference, carving a path for others to follow and one day, watch them lead another generation. I need to make a correction. Every day these residents of Newtown, Connecticut ARE making a difference and they are leading all of us with one simple fundamental idea: they BELIEVE. And I quietly whisper, thank you, thank you for showing the world in the midst of the chaos, hurt and devastation, we still have hope and faith and love. As a country we showed this same resolve on September 11, 2001 and then I realized, we show this resolve every single day, but the media and a few disgruntled others would rather show a different view of our world.
The premise for this blog was to find the joy in every day life. For a few weeks, I really couldn't find the joy, even in the midst of the Christmas season. I was feeling depleted, like a balloon who had zoomed around a room and then sputtered to the ground, spent, waiting for someone to refill me so I could float around again, happy, weightless yet full.
Slowly, I have begun to refill. I pray at random moments. My intimate times with God leave me a little lighter and a little happier. This has been an amazingly stressful year for our family but I have to remember we are still a whole family. We have no unopened presents sitting under our tree. We have no empty places at our table. We have children that fight and hug and play and sing. We have everyone present and accounted for in our house. My life may seem boring at times, a little bit like Groundhog Day and there are days when I wonder, "Did I really put myself through college for this?". And then I hear Him. Yes. Everything you have done is for this moment you are living right now. Teach your children to know me and they will never be alone and in the midst of despair, they will see joy and light and happiness and hope. Teach them what the residents of Newtown have taught you: BELIEVE. What a joyful thought!
I wish you a Happy New Year and a bright, shiny, joyous 2013. But mostly, I wish you the gift of another day, the joy of living in the present and knowing that the best gifts are not those you unwrap but those you carry with you in your heart one day at a time.
