Yesterday was a hard day for our country no matter your political affiliation as once again, a peaceful protest became violent, undisciplined, and garnered deadly consequences. But should we, as citizens who have watched cities burn in unrest for eight long months, be shocked, mortified, or aghast at the situation? When we have watched and listened to others declare there will be a Civil War because of this presidential election, no matter the outcome, shouldn’t we have known there was a possibility of unrest on January 6th? There are millions of people in this country hurting financially, emotionally, and physically - and yet people continue to turn to social media to accuse, denigrate, excuse, vilify, accept, and gaslight an atmosphere that does not need more fuel. The time has come for us to stop blaming, shaming, and gaming others but to start listening, truly listening to all people while acknowledging that each of us carries a little bit of blame in the unraveling of our country. But most importantly, we need to start forgiving ourselves and each other.
The important aspect to consider is while we have unraveled, we have not come completely undone. And my daily prayer is that our country turns inward to reflect not on our leaders in Washington, but to look at the actions in our streets, on social media, and in our communities. The genuine hurting of our people does not cater to political, social, or religious beliefs but somehow we have built a wall among us that says only one side or the other feels oppression, loss, or helplessness. If 2020 taught us anything, the world as a whole is suffering but instead of working together, sides were picked, and the blame game became the fixture on the adult playground. It is flat out embarrassing and I pray the children who are watching these displays of pettiness unfold, have the determination and strength to fix our mess because clearly, there is not one calm voice condemning all of us for playing a part in this division. So, where do we go from here if our country is going to start to unravel this tangled web and begin weaving our differences into a beautiful quilt that truly reflects our country that still needs to be the beacon of light for the world?
With ourselves. Maybe right now, social media is not the best place for discourse. Wait. I take that back. Social media is NEVER the best place for discourse. While I was doing a little research for this post, I was looking up knitting terms and came across this gem: “A skein (or a hank) is a big loop of yarn twisted into a coil. ... It's critical to know that before you can knit with yarn that's in a skein, you have to wind it into a ball, otherwise, it will end up in a very tangled mess!” This is my take on social media right now - an absolute, unapologetic, snarled, needs-to-go-to-timeout-mess. Instead, take a moment to find the quiet spot of your soul whether it’s through prayer, meditation, a long walk in nature, exercise, or however you find the calmness, and stay there for five minutes. Ask for forgiveness for your frustration, your lashing out, your anger, your hate, your aloofness, your judgement, your disassociation from others, and all the misdeeds that have brought you to a point of boiling. And then gently, with truly open ears, begin talking to real people while looking them directly in the eye (six feet apart, of course), and ask them what they want for our country. That is our common ground and where our common decency lies - for the love of our United States of America and all her inhabitants. I have not met a person yet, no matter their political leanings, that does not want this outcome. There are just different pathways of getting to the same destination, just as there are different routes we all take around the same town, suburb or city. Neither is wrong but inevitably, we all end up on the same street. Shortly after this discussion, I believe term limits will be the other olive branch, but that is a thought for another day.
Forgiveness does not mean to forget or to disallow a transgression, but letting go of anger, hate, and slights sure do help individuals move forward. And it’s ok to ask for help from a higher power to get you there. Humans are broken people, we always have been. But at some point, we stopped forgiving, conversating, and healing and just started blaming. No person, other than you, strikes the keys on your phone or keyboard. No person, other than you, releases the words that fall out of your mouth and spill into the ears of others, never to be taken back. No person, other than you, reacts to the chaotic upheaval of our current political crisis. And no person, other than you, can begin to forge a safe path forward for our children and future generations.
Now, I am not naive enough to believe we are all going to sit around holding hands and singing Kum By Yah 12 months from now. No, this mess we are in was 20 years in the making and will take quite a long time to turn the ship around. The media needs to be held accountable, our politicians need to be held accountable, and we need to check ourselves daily. Take five, ten, twenty before you type or speak to an opposing viewpoint. I have seen some vile and nasty words thrown this year like I have never seen spewn before and while many like to blame this on President Obama or President Trump, at the end of the day, if you ran with the hate bomb tossed your way, you are just as guilty of fanning the rhetoric that just needs to be permanently sidelined. The old adage, “If you do not have something nice to say, say nothing at all.” should be the banner on every social media outlet for the next 365 days. We all need a deep, deep breath and some really big ears moving forward.
Yesterday, I was communicating with a friend about the path of our country. For a long time now, Americans have been following the sparkly things instead of the true things. We need a huge reboot of societal interaction. I am a big fan of the “It’s too peopley out there” or “People suck” or “I’d rather be with my dog” slogans because inside every humorous meme, there is a morsel of truth. I would love Miss Manners to be trendy again. Hmmmm...maybe I should consider donning her crown but then again, I do have a sarcastic side that makes me take five, ten, or twenty. And back to the forgiveness pile I go.
I made the decision back in November to carve out time in 2021 to bring “The Joy Diaries” back to life and my intention was to make a big splash this Sunday with a new website including my tutoring gig and an additional blog, “Life with Laura”, which would include excerpts from my daily life. However, yesterday I scrapped my halfway completed return and made the decision to empty my heart on paper today. Ironically, my first entry was to be titled “The Joy of Living in the Present” and well, I guess living in the present does not always mean you have to be happy with the contents of the day, but still, try to find the blessings in the midst of the mess. In the meantime, perhaps we can all do our part today to clear the clutter, rise above the chaos, exercise gratitude, and place salve on the hurts that have wounded our country. You won’t find the ointment in your medicine cabinet. It’s found only in your heart free of taxes, shipping fees, and mailing delays. It’s name is forgiveness. Order yours today with a joyful heart.
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